Thursday, August 9, 2012

Wild Cards

Me, my daughter, and BFF in New Orleans

I went to a concert at Chene Park last night with one of my best and oldest friends. She is the "Samantha" of our group...real grown, takes no shorts, statuesque and regal, always "the auntie", but take away Samantha's slutacious behavior (one of my favorite words but the credit goes to one of those reality shows) and add a dab of shy (the girl can sing and only a few people know).  I remember meeting her 20 years ago in Mr. Kabrovich's American History class.  I didn't want to be all weird by introducing myself  like "Hi my name is Deidra, lets be best friends". So instead I opted for the even weirder approach...staring until she succumbed to my hypnotic gaze.  I knew we were kindred spirits, she got my jokes, didn't take life too seriously and our birthdays were 2 days apart.  She was my twin born a year before me.

We recently took an all girls trip to New Orleans and she coined the phrase "Wild Cards".  This is defined as an inappropriate, ill-fitting, unflattering outfit.  For some reason there was an abundance of Wild Cards there that weekend. I thought about including a collage of exhibits but my goal is to keep my blog positive. There are enough blogs dedicated to pointing out flaws and having readers laugh and point and comment.  I think we all know what it looks like.

My girls and I decided their friends obviously don't love them.  There should have been alot of broken friendships in New Orleans that weekend, last night at Chene Park and every weekend in Detroit. To test this theory I challenge you to try on something you know you shouldn't even wear in private, and ask your girlfriends for their opinion.  The ones who tell you that you look great and you should wear it out are not your friends.  You know the saying "A reason, a season, a lifetime."  She could be trying to spare your feelings because maybe you've gained a few or could stand to gain a few or maybe she simply just wants to be the standout in the group. 

Before you play your Wild Card, keep the following 5 Commandments in mind:

1.  If your belly is spilling out in any way....go longer. Everything ain't for Every's Body!

2.  If you are wearing low-rise jeans wear low cut undies and a belt to avoid the plumber look

3. If you are wearing clingy "tell no lie" material and your lower half is not as taut as it used to be, wear some support to smooth things out.

4. If you are unable to wear those 5 in. heels for the entire event, either bring a backup or plan better. DO NOT walk around in your pretty dress barefoot!

5. If a man is giving you the "what does she have on" side-eye look. Take heed because when they notice,  IT'S BAD!

Uno and Out!!

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